l o n g i n g f o r a l i f e i n s u l a t e d f r o m e v e r y t h i n g e l s e
Always looking out the window,
really just here.
The hard part about publishing a public journal is practicing restraint. There just has to be a rule about telling everyone about yourself; a protocol on self-indulgence; a ceiling that marks an
entry as 'this is too much, delete it.'
Boulevard Avenue is
Editor's Choice @
Promise it to the wind,
write it on water, and
hope someone will remember.
"I want to record how the world comes at me, because I think it is indicative of the way it comes at everyone." (Phillip Lopate)
Love thy neighbors,
or at least try.
One of these days I will arson my stupid neighbors to death. Nothing like a wall of flame to induce an infectious wave of panic. I've thought of poison, but there there are too many mouths
to stuff it into. It's not like how it was in provinces of old, where people drank from a communal stream. My neighbors drink Coke, and tap water. No, I'm good with fire. Fire is cool.
Notwithstanding Me
The last person you want to confide in is the guy in the mirror. When you confess, he's not interested; he knows it already, whatever it is. When you confess anyway, he gets bored and
shoots you accusing looks: you're being melodramatic. When you close your eyes, he's gone, but he's really there, seeing you for the sham that you are. When you turn the other cheek, you
see exactly that cheek, and not the other one. When you so don't care for his approval, he can't even begin to feel sorry for you. When you do feel sorry, he magnifies your self-shame. When
you approve of yourself, he grins, because by then only he is approving of you. When you're so into yourself, he mimics every move you make, and then you notice he's faking it. Living with
a shadow is better: you at least don't have an image and likeness of you sneering.
Storm's gone. I miss it already. I was forced, yesterday, to use this one umbrella, a really big one, with the signature colors and seal of my alma mater, the kind of memento you keep in boxes that age in your attic. My wife had brought with her one of our umbrellas, and I had ruined my green one last rainy season--never got it fixed--and it was pouring yesterday, what with those hard winds slapping the rain around, hitting me with a carpet of water at each wind's shove. I ran back inside, stepped out of my wet shoes, ran upstairs, and pulled up a chair to step on. The big umbrella was on top of our closet. Tearing the plastic wrapper, I sighed as I stepped back from the window, to give the umbrella room to unfold. It was big after all, and as it openned up, somebody's laundry slammed on the window, and then vanished, caught up in the torrent of wind and rain. I closed the umbrella, went down stairs, put my shoes back on, and openned the door. When the wind shifted and rammed me with rain, I took back my sigh. I had a dome on top of me, big as a beach umbrella, shielding me from hard rain and torn up shreds of plants. If only I had a pair of rain boots to match my umbrella's color.
well, i see enough of maroon and green on the weekends when i go to french class with tina. alibata script in gold even... and to think a new generation of aspiring little maroons are taking their tests next weekend. heeheehee
ayen July 27, 2006 07:55 PM PDT Bigger even, maroon and green. Peyups zeal all over. You won't believe it.
shiro July 27, 2006 01:46 PM PDT it's a big freaky MAROON umbrella?